Kategori arşivi: Adam Sandler

Right Field – Adam Sandler

Right Field Dinle

Right Field Şarkı Sözleri

[Russel: Shouting] “Come on Robert! Pitch it in there, baby!

We’re behind you here in right field! One down!

Two to go! Hum it now! Yeah! Show ‘em the magic! This chump can’t hit!”

[Whispering to himself] “Please God, don’t help him hit it to me.

Anywhere but to right field. Please God, I bet you.”

[Shouting] “Come on now! No batter! No batter! Big whiffer! Big whiffer!”

[Whispering] “Oh please, don’t let him hit it to me. My God, not to me.”

[Shouting] “Steam it baby! Steam it!”

[Whispering] “Oh God no, Oh God no, Oh God no, Oh God no.”

[Ball is hit]

[Russel: Shouting] “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

[Whispering] “Oh good! It’s not to me.”

[Shouting] “Good catch, Steven! Nice glove!

You da man! Two away now! Lookin’ good!

We’re all looking good out here! Come on Robert!

This lump of crap can’t hit!”

[Whiserping] “Oh God, he’s a leftie! A big leftie!

Total power to hit it. He’s gonna pile it right to me and there’s nothing I can do to stop him.”

[Shouting] “Pitch ‘em the funny one, Robert! Big whiffer! Big whiffer!”

[Whispering] “Oh he is a natural athlete and I am so worthless.

Please God, take his life. Make him die.”

[Shouting] “No batter! No batter!”

[Ball is hit]

[Russel: Whispering] “Oh God. This is not happening.

No, don’t do this to me. Please. Make it stop.”

[Ball hits Russel]

[Russel:] “OWWWW! My elbow!”

[M1:] “Throw it to second! Pick it up already!”

[Russel:] “Take it! Just take the ball!”

[Russel tosses the ball]

[M2:] “Nice throw, you pansy!”

[Russel: Whispering] “Ok, get under control.

Easy now, easy. Say something to the team.”

[Shouting] “Good hussle everybody! Yeah! Nice work! Play’s at third!”

[Whispering] “That wasn’t funny, Lord. I’ve been so good and for what!?”

[Shouting] “Come on, Robert! Settle down! Just throw straight!

You get it across the plate! We’ll take care of the rest!”

[Whispering] “Oh no, another lefty.”

[Ball is hit]

[Russel: Shouting] “NOO! Why me again!?”

[Ball hits Russel]

[Russel:] “OWWWW! My neck!”

[Panting & Whining] “I can’t breath. I can’t breath.”

[M2:] “Pick it up and throw it, you moron!”

[Russel: Whining] “Here..come on, here.. Take the ball! Take it!”

[Russel kicks ball]

[M1:] “Way to kick it in, Pele!”

[Russel: Shouting] “Oh hahaha. Pele! Good one! Hehehe..

Ok! Come on! Suck it up guys! We’ll get those runs back!

This is where we dig down!

We just need one more out!”

[Whispering] “Oh look! A rightie! Oh Lord, thank you. Thank you so much. I owe you.”

[Shouting] “This loser can’t hit! No batter! Come on, this is where we take them out!”

[Whispering] “Uh oh, what’s happening? Where’s the rightie going? What?

Who’s this guy? He’s a leftie and he’s pinch hitting. No! No!”

[Shouting] “Why’s he pointing at me!?”

[Ball is hit]

[Russel: Shouting] “Oh my Lord! What have I done to deserve this?!”

[M3:] “I got it! I got it!”

[Running over to the ball near Russel]

[Thud! Crashes into Russel]

[M3:] “Whoa! Sorry about that, Russel. Are you ok?”

[Russel: Shouting] “HELL YEAH! We’re up now! It’s our turn to kick a little ass!”

[M3:] “All right, Russel. I think you’re up first.”

[Russel:] “NOOOOO!!”

The Beating Of A High School Janitor – Adam Sandler

The Beating Of A High School Janitor Dinle

The Beating Of A High School Janitor Şarkı Sözleri

And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor.”

[Mopping sounds]

Mop, mop, mop

All day long

Mop, mop, mop

While I sing this song

[Sound of someone walking towards him]

Gonna wax the floor

Gonna make it shine

Gonna take of the spray paint

With turpentine

“Hey! Don’t walk there! I just mopped!”

[Person walking quickly towards him]

[Beating sounds]

“Hey!”

[Beating sounds]

“Get offa me!”

[Beating sounds]

“That’s my bucket!”

[Beating sounds]

“Let go of my side burns!”

[Beating sounds]

[Sound of falling down into glass]

The Longest Pee – Adam Sandler

The Longest Pee Dinle

The Longest Pee Şarkı Sözleri

Line of people talking]

“Hey man, let me in there first”

-”Go ahead man, take it easy”

“Thanks, I really gotta pee”

[Open door, close door]

[Unzip pants]

[Start pissin..........groaning....]

“Oh man”

[.....]

“Ohhh yeah”

[.....]

“Ahhhh”

[......Stop Briefly]

“Ahh”

[Start Pissing again..]

“Oh man”

[...]

“Oh man”

[...]

“Oh Man”

[...gets louder]

“OH MAN”

[...and louder]

“OH MAN!!”

[...as loud as a hose]

“OH MAN!!! OH..”

[...]

“Oh no!”

[...]

“Oh Man!”

[...slows down]

“ahhh”

[Stops]

“Ahhhhhh…There ya go”

[Fart! Starts pissing loudly again]

“Oh! OH MAN!”

[...]

“OH MY GOD!”

[Banging on the Door]

[Pissing slows down to dribble]

“I’ll be out in a minute!”

[...dribbling...]

“oh..oh my”

[Stops]

“oh…Oh thank God”

[Zips up pants]

[Pisses in pants]

“Awwww MAN!”

[People laughing]

-”Hey man, you pissed in your pants”

“I know”

-”So did I”

“I guess that makes us piss pals”

[Horrible annoying laughter]

[Rasberry]

The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions – Adam Sandler

The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions Dinle

The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions Şarkı Sözleri

And now a buffoon’s meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.”

[Dean:] “Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations

on your upcoming graduation and I understand

you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.”

[Buffoon:] “I got a snake, man!”

[Dean:] “Yes, pets are welcome here on campus.

Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.”

[Buffoon:] “One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that!

It was all fucked up!”

[Dean:] “I’m sure it was.

Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students

and pets here on campus.”

[Buffoon:] “Fuckin’ Shit!”

[Dean:] “Yes, that’s a not uncommon reaction to this policy.

So tell me a little bit more about your background.”

[Buffoon:] “My father’s a fucking asshole, man!”

[Dean:] “Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.”

[Buffoon:] “My mother’s a piece of shit too!”

[Dean:] “Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility

over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed

and ready to learn.”

[Buffoon:] “My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!

She had her head way up her ass!”

[Dean:] “Well the quality of the faculty at a University

such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.”

[Buffoon:] “Your secretary’s a real fat bitch, man!”

[Dean:] “Yes, she’s tried many diets over the years with minimal success.”

[Buffoon:] “I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!”

[Dean:] “Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug,

never a pleasurable experience.

So have you given any thought to your choice of major?”

[Buffoon:] “I’ve got a big fucking boner right now.”

[Dean:] “I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods

of nervous tension. I do not take offense.”

[Buffoon:] “One time I ate my neighbors shit!”

[Dean:] “That’s understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you.

We’ll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.”

[Buffoon:] “I bet you got really hairy balls.”

[Dean:] “Yes, it’s a veritable forest down there. Bye bye.”

The Buffoon And The Valedictorian – Adam Sandler

The Buffoon And The Valedictorian Dinle

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And now the buffoon’s date at the drive-in with the school’s valedictorian.”

[Valedictorian:] “I really appreciate you’re asking me out.

Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement.”

[Buffoon:] “This movie sucks shit!”

[Valedictorian:] “Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,

but Ciscel thought it was too preachy.

Anyway, I enjoyed the director’s last film immensly.”

[Buffoon:] “Cathleen Turner has big fuckin’ tits!”

[Valedictorian:] “Yes, well, she recently had a child.

I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.

She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn’t she?”

[Buffoon:] “I put a firecracker in a bullfrog’s mouth and blew his fuckin’ head off.”

[Valedictorian:] “Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon

for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process.”

[Buffoon:] “That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head.”

[Valedictorian:] “Well, I guess she’s strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.”

[Buffoon eating popcorn]

[Buffoon:] “This popcorn’s fuckin’ terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it.”

[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

[Valedictorian:] “Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.

Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome

by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank.”

[Buffoon:] “I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin’ mind!”

[Valedictorian:] “It’s ironic that parts of one’s body seems odd

and unusual because you don’t see them on a day to day basis.

[Buffoon:] “My father’s shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin’ day!”

[Valedictorian:] “It’s puzzling why one person’s fecal odor can be more overpowering than another’s.

I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person’s internal metabolism.”

[Buffoon:] “I’m gonna go get head from that fuckin’ girl.”

[Gets out of the car]

[Valedictorian:] “Well, I’m sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion.”

[Buffoon walking away]

“I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue.”

[Buffoon:] “I like to piss in that guy’s fuckin’ gas tank!”

[Valedictorian:] “Bye bye! Have fun.”

[Buffoon continues to walk away]

Toll Booth Willie – Adam Sandler

Toll Booth Willie Dinle

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[Car approaches]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.”

[M1:] “Hey, how ya doin’ Toll Booth Willie?”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!”

[M1:] “Aww, that’s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin’ idiot!”

[Pays toll and drives off]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!

I’ll come right outta the booth and fuckin’ whack ya, you fuckin’ prick!”

[Another car approaches]

[M2:] “Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Hey, can’t complain, pop. Hows ’bout you?”

[M2:] “Oh, great, great. How much?”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.”

[M2:] “That’s fine. Now should I give you the money,

or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?”

[Pays toll and drives off]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Why you fuckin’ hard on!

I’ll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin’ head with a Louise-ville fuckin’ slugger!

Whadya think of that ass fuck!?”

[Another car approaches]

[F1:] “Hi Willie.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Oh, nice to see ya M’am. Not a bad day, huh?”

[F1:] “Well, I’m a little lost. Could you help me out?

I hear your the best with directions.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Well I know my way around New England.

I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?”

[F1:] “Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way

to drive up your ass. You know, if you’d tell me,

I’d appreciate it, you fuckin’ prick.”

[Drives off]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “You fuckin’ bitch! Fuck you!

You forgot to pay the fuckin’ toll you dirty whore!

I’ll fuckin’ drop you with a boot to the fuckin’ skull you cum guzzling queen!”

[Another car approaches]

[M3:] “Hey Willie.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Hey, how are ya?”

[M3:] “Here’s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.”

[Pays toll and drives off]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Dah, you fuckin’ prick!

I hope you choke on a fuckin’ bottle cap, ya fuckin’ son of a fuck!

Eat shit! Eat my shit!”

[Another car approaches]

[Bishop Nelson:] “Hello Willie. Good to see you.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.

That was quite a sermon you had the other day.”

[Bishop Nelson:] “Hey, well I do my best.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.”

[Bishop Nelson:] “Dollar twenty-five,

Willie. Isn’t that the same price your mother charges for a blow job,

you piece of dog shit!?”

[Pays toll and drives off]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin’ lush!

It’s not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin’ douche bag!”

[Another car approaches]

[M5:] “Hey!”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Well hey!”

[M5:] “Yeah, do you want the money,

or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?”

[Pays toll and drives off]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Well, I already heard that one you fuckin’ unoriginal bastard!

Go suck a corn you fuckin’ piece of repeatin’ shit!”

[Another car approaches]

[F2:] “Hi.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Oh, hi. How are ya?”

[F2:] “Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?”

[Toll Booth Willie:]“For you sweetheart, it’s a dollar twenty-five.”

[F2:] “Here ya go.”

[Pays toll]

[F2:] “Thank you.”

[Begins to drive off]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?”

[F2:] “Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.”

[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “And here ya are.”

[F2:] “Umm, do you think you could sign it?”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Oh, uh.. sign it?”

[F2:] “Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?”

[Signing receipt]

[F2:] “Just so I could have proof for my friends that

I met the biggest fuckin’ dip shit with the smallest dick alive.

You understand.”

[Drives off]

[Crumples up paper]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Fuck you, you fuckin’ upity bitch!

I’ll fuckin’ fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front

of your fuckin’ mothers! You’re gonna die, bitch! I’m comin’ outta the booth!”

[Opens the door and runs out of the booth]

[Car screeches and hits him]

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ooooh! My fuckin’ leg!”

[M6:] “Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!”

[M7:] “Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a

dried up stinky dick licker.”

[Toll Booth Willie:] “Why you fuckin’ pricks.

I fuckin’ hear every fuckin’ word yer saying!

When this fuckin’ leg heals,

I’m gonna kick you guys new fuckin’ assholes!

[Everyone cussing eachother out]

The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher – Adam Sandler

The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher Dinle

The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher Şarkı Sözleri

“And now the severe beating of a high school spanish teacher.”

[Lecturing]

[Writing on chalk board]

“Juan es muy guapo.”

[Door opens, walking towards her]

“Hola.”

“Senor?”

“Hay problema?”

“Mi casa es su casa.”

[Scream]

[Beating sounds]

“Ayuda! Ayudame!”

[Beating sounds]

“Ayudame!”

[Beating sounds]

“Bibliotecha!”

[Beating sounds]

“No!”

[Beating sounds]

[Beating sounds]

[Falls to the floor]

The Cheerleader – Adam Sandler

The Cheerleader Dinle

The Cheerleader Şarkı Sözleri

[Sound of pom-poms]

[Cheerleader: With annoying feminine voice]

“Ok you guys, let’s hear some spirit!”

[Performing cheer]

[Cheerleader:] “United, we are united.. We’ll be ’cause we’re the

Tigers, we’re out for vic-tor-y – Yeah!”

[No response]

[Cheerleader:] “Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!”

[Still no response]

[Cheerleader:] “Come on! The girls volleyball team’s got a big game tonight!

And we’re gonna win ’cause we’re the -”

[Guy in crowd:] “Sit down!”

[Cheerleader:] “You guys are assholes!” [Whining]

“You think this is easy being a cheerleader!?

Let’s see you come down here and try it!”

[Guy:] “Shut up!”

[Cheerleader:] “You’re the one who should be shutting up!

This is my senior year of cheerleading and you’re ruining it!

I paid for my pom-poms with my own money.” [Half-crying]

[Guy:] “You suck!”

[Cheerleader: Hurt] “I was gonna do a split for you guys,

but now I’m not gonna cuz you guys don’t appreciate anything.”

[Something hurled and hit Cheerleader]

[Cheerleader:] “Owwww! Who threw that!?

I’m gonna get a bruise now! I hate my school!” [Whining]

[Crowd cheering softly in background]

[Guy:] “We’re sorry.”

[Pause]

[Guy:] “Just kidding, you suck!”

[Cheerleader: Half-crying] “Ahhaw..No…”

The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher – Adam Sandler

The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher Dinle

The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher Şarkı Sözleri

And now the severe beating of a high school science teacher.”

[Lecturing]

“Zinc is by far the best element.”

“I also like plutonium.”

“It’s just fun to say.”

“Plutonium.”

[Sound of someonee walking towards him]

“How’s your plutonium?”

“Good, thank you.”

“Excuse me!”

“Hello! The office is closed. So, if you wouldn’t mind,.. Sir, what are you doing?”

“Hey! Get off of me!”

[Beating sounds]

“You’re breaking the beakers!”

[Beating sounds]

“Those are my best goggles!”

[Beating sounds]

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson – Adam Sandler

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Dinle

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Şarkı Sözleri

[Adam Sandler:]

And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson.

[Man:]

Mr. Gibson? I’m sorry to bother you sir but this gentleman is a big fan and he

just wanted to say hello.

[Excited Southerner:]

Well I…I can’t…believe…I’m in the…laser disc…Mr.Gibson…I…I

…I…such a…got to…I…Braveheart was…you…you’re…got your

autograph…with a 8X10 gloss…your face was burnt though…Tina

Turner…singing a song to the…mama…mother…mother…loves you too…got

to…Bird On the Water…not such a good picture but…you made up for it with

the Mad Max…got a…mail…mail was very…got so much going…and the koala

bears…got…I’m a big fan…Golden Globe awards…if maybe the people’s

choice…

[Man:]

Alright. That’s enough. I’m sorry Mel let me get this moron outta here.